Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?

Federation Follies

Federation Follies: Star Trek Nights

Federation Follies: Relief Pitching

Greetings readers, and welcome back to the latest (and long-delayed) installment of “Federation Follies.” For those of you wondering where the column has been, I’ll tell you what I told my TrekNews editors: “prison, awaiting bail.” For those of you who haven’t been wondering: … well, thanks for nothing.”

Regardless, during my time away, I’ve seen chatter on this fine website (and others) about a possible pitch for Star Trek’s triumphant return to television. Now, there are some out there who don’t think this is likely to happen for various reasons, and I tend to agree; Paramount doesn’t seem too into Trek on the silver screen right now. Unlike the rest of the internet, though, I have no intention of taking this sitting down; I plan to STAND UP (while writing this!) AND GET THEIR ATTENTION. What follows is my slam-dunk pitch for a new Star Trek series that will get those studio suits to take notice. I present to you:

Pitch for Star Trek: Nights

Captain Val Edwards, the third-youngest Starfleet officer to ever be named captain of a starship, has just taken command of the U.S.S. Nocturne. When a strange string of murders below decks begins to catch the attention of the crew, Edwards fears that his darkest secret may come to light: he’s actually a (salt) vampire! Are his recent blackouts a sign that after years of dedication, he’s losing control and killing his own crew? Or is some darker force at work?

Meanwhile, Chief Medical Officer Ellen Laurie has her own problems in Sickbay: love is in the air! With her head nurses both head-over-heels for the same Bolian intern and tempers flaring, will she be able to hold things together? Or is there a nasty polywater breakout right under her nose? Also, why is popular music from the early twenty-first century always playing over the intercom?

Finally, Chief Engineer Leland Miranda has to turn Main Engineering into a daycare for the Nocturne’s children when a Klingon werewolf turns the ship’s school into it’s new den! There will be laughs aplenty and lessons learned as Starfleet’s youngest new “cadets” show their elders how it’s done! Plus, Chief Miranda’s daughter is A WIZARD.

I’m sure you’ll agree with me that this exciting, compelling, completely fresh, 100% new, not-at-all-derivative-of-other-media take on our beloved franchise is just the shot in the arm television, if not society as a whole, needs right now. So let’s start writing those letters and make it so, people.

“Federation Follies” is a weekly humor column by Willie Laundrie II, taking a look at the lighter side of Star Trek.

Written By

Columnist — Federation Follies Willie is a long-time aficionado of cartoons, comic book superheroes, games, and science fiction. He’s a big fan of Stark Trek in general and the 24th Century in particular, and plans to move there as soon as he can afford to slingshot himself around the sun. In the meantime, he spends his time drawing comics and cartoons.

4 Comments

4 Comments

  1. Garmin

    September 16, 2011 at 4:41 pm

    Sadly, this probably IS where it’s all headed. When I first saw Chris Pine cast as Kirk, all I could think was “this guy looks like a reject from a CW teeny-bopper show”. While he’s proven to be more than that, it may be a glimpse of where it’s all headed.

  2. Garmin

    September 16, 2011 at 4:41 pm

    Sadly, this probably IS where it’s all headed. When I first saw Chris Pine cast as Kirk, all I could think was “this guy looks like a reject from a CW teeny-bopper show”. While he’s proven to be more than that, it may be a glimpse of where it’s all headed.

  3. James Cormier

    September 16, 2011 at 4:45 pm

    If it played out like this Trek would have at least 1 more fan in my younger cousin. She’s a massive “Twihard”.

  4. James Cormier

    September 16, 2011 at 4:45 pm

    If it played out like this Trek would have at least 1 more fan in my younger cousin. She’s a massive “Twihard”.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Facebook

Twitter

Advertisement
Advertisement

Trending Articles

News

The premiere of the fourth season of Star Trek: Discovery is right around the corner. Announced during the series’ Star Trek Day panel, Discovery...

News

It looks like Kate Mulgrew won’t be the only Voyager castmember returning to the Star Trek franchise in the upcoming animated series Star Trek:...

News

The cast of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds has been revealed. Joining Anson Mount (Captain Christopher Pike), Rebecca Romijn (Una Chin-Riley/Number One) and Ethan...

News

The trailer for the second season of Star Trek: Picard made its debut during Wednesday’s Star Trek Day festivities. The trailer gives us a...

AboutContactTip UsTerms of UsePrivacy Notice

TrekNews.net, the website, the promotion thereof and/or any exhibition of material created by TrekNews.net is not endorsed or sponsored by or affiliated with CBS/Paramount Pictures or the STAR TREK franchise.


© 2011–2021 TrekNews.net